I've come to decide that being a mom means spending an exorbitant
amount of time anticipating the needs of others. If/then thoughts...
If we get stranded in the car in the snowstorm,
then we will need everyone's winter boots, coats, hats, and mittens.
If we are going to travel the hour to and from Grandma's,
then we need to time it so child B will sleep in the car and child A will not sleep in the car.
If I can get the first load of laundry in now,
then I will not have to try to do it while balancing a baby in one arm and managing a "helpful" 3 year old under my feet.
If,
during nap time, I squeeze the lemon, mince the garlic, roast the red
pepper, and measure out the salt and tahini into a bowl for the hummus
and put it in the fridge,
then when Child B is awake I can use the food processor and all the tasks requiring two hands have already been done.
If the baby spits up on me at church,
then I will need an extra shirt in order not to smell like rotten milk... again.
If it is 40 degrees and raining outside,
then I will make a dinner that is a bit more labor intensive, but
if it is 75 and sunny outside
then I will use a default meal because Child A will want to play outside and requires supervision.
If I go to the grocery store at 7 am on Friday,
then I could drop the groceries off before work and I wouldn't have to drag kids to the store on Saturday.
If we are going out of town tomorrow morning,
then
tonight I need to make sure to get the diaper and snack bags ready, and
my pump, and any hostess gifts/food, and Child B's bottles, and the
kitchen sink. Mainly, because I can help Child A get dressed, clean up
the spilled cereal, change a major diaper blow out and get the dog fed
but I cannot, for some reason, pack up the car at the same time.
If I can get a snack into Child A at 2:45 pm,
then he will not be so grumpy by 5:00 pm when he requires dinner 10 minutes ago.
If we are going to go out to dinner,
then... forget it, that one is way too much work.
And
on and on and on. It can be mentally exhausting. To try and stay ahead
of the game in order to keep things running smoothly. I don't remember
doing as much of that B.C. (before children). Probably because I
didn't.
I like routine. I like organization. I dislike
clutter and chaos and craziness. My kids have helped me see that
although planning can be helpful (someone has to do it) things just
don't always go as as we thought they might. And that is okay too. These
boys almost always surprise me with how resilient they are to life's
obstacles. It is me, not them that gets hung up on the schedule. I hope
they hang on to that as they grow. A fantastic life skill that would
serve them well.