Week 4 - October

Happy October this week! We finished up the apple unit this week and welcomed October with a very, very careful trip to the apple orchard! The kids were so excited to be out of our house and the leaves were gorgeous as we drove through New York state. 

On Monday, Jonah did an Outschool class call Apple Circle Time. He really enjoyed it and then went down to make a play-doh apple complete with a stem and a leaf. Impressive Jo Jo!

Emmett continues to study energy in physics and so we had a game of superhero bowling in our living room. He explained to me that he contains potential energy which he then turns into kinetic energy that he transfers into the ball which then bumps into the "pins" and they fall into the door transferring more energy in multiple forms. Close enough.  

We had a VERY sweet friend who offered to print out the math curriculum for us. God BLESS you, my friend. I am not sure that the boys are quite as excited as I am. Ha. 

This is one year of math lessons for 1st grade (left) and 4th grade (right). Phew.

Micah managed to step on a yellow jacket this week. We are glad to say that he is not allergic. On Thursday before we left the house we found a yellow jacket nest in our yard. The kids were not at all afraid and found it very interesting. 

He also lost a second tooth!

Week 3

 Week 3 - 

We have had a busy week! To start, Norah transitioned smoothly to her big girl bed. There has been a whole lot of bickering and fighting amongst the boys. I have to think that some of it may be because the kids are together all the time. All The Time. They even all shared a room. I decided, much to Patrick's dismay, that it was time to move rooms around. We moved Emmett into the room that had been our makeshift office and then switched Norah and Micah's spaces. Patrick informed me that if he was moving the rooms and had to take the crib apart he was not putting it back together ever again. HA. So, ready or not, time for a big bed for the littlest Collins. She has taken to it with no problems. I imagine it might be more comfortable than her crib and crib mattress. Jonah tells everyone that he has "a new roommate". 

She spent her first night in her bed on Saturday and on Monday she turned 2! Yep, another birthday at our house. She had a sweet butterfly birthday and the boys were her biggest fans. 

A homemade vegan, vanilla cake.

Yay for frosting!

Micah studied the Autumnal Equinox and the changing seasons for science this week. We read loads of books and did leaf rubbings! He also managed to get stung by a yellow jacket on Saturday. He stepped on that little sucker with bare feet. Needless to say, the insect did not like that and Micah had a very sore foot for the rest of the day. 

Leaf rubbings

Dinosaur slippers were the least painful footwear after the wasp sting.

Jonah's unit is currently all about apples. These stained glass apples were a fun project that (miracle of miracles) all 4 of them seemed to enjoy! Ah, the fun of contact paper. 

Jonah also continues to work on his letter sounds, identification and formation. 

Emmett wrote all of his vocabulary sentences as they related to Pokemon this week. He needed something to make this more interesting and it took him about 5 minutes to come up with them! I was impressed! His physics wonder this week was related to energy and his engineering wonder was all about levers. I tasked him with making a lever to lift something heavy. Here is the video of him showing me how the lever and fulcrum work. 

One pinkie!?

He also had the pleasure of hanging out with our friends' dog Sunday morning! A huge thank you to Danny, Rory, and Bonnie for making his day. Emmett took wonderful care of Clover. He's petitioning hard for a dog. Oy. 

And Norah girl, she is learning through osmosis I think. She wants to do everything the brothers are doing and I had a moment on Thursday that blew my mind. Emmett and I were sitting at the table working together and Norah brought me the bag of Bananagram tiles. I unzipped the bag and gave it back to her. She went over to the far side of the room and dumped them out. I was not paying any attention to her, other than to make sure she didn't put anything in her mouth that she shouldn't. About 10 minutes later she came over and placed a pile of tiles on the table at my elbow. I flipped all of the tiles over and realized that she had gone through the entire bag and plucked out all of the Rs. I looked at her with amazement and she looked right back at me and said "R" as if I should already know that. Ha. She had been 2 years old for 3 days. Osmosis I tell you. 

The letter R

Norah also has this church thing figured out. 

Our friend Andrea dropped off two honest to goodness fireman's helmets for the boys. 

They are in love.

Thanks Andrea!!

And, just because Norah is excited about the last day of the regular season...

Baseball for life. 

Week 2

 Week 2 - a quick overview of the highlights. 

We completed week two of homeschool with fewer tears and more confidence. Tuesday was Emmett's birthday and he declared it a homeschool holiday so we spent the afternoon at the beach and the evening enjoying Pokemon cupcakes.

10!

A quiet September afternoon at the beach. 

10 candles on one cupcake?!

Pokemon is a favorite. 

Melmetal all the way. 

One of the really cool things that Micah did this week was his 2nd Science Wonder. He studied the layers of the Earth. We made a play-doh model of the Earth with the inner and outer core, mantle and crust and then cut it in half with dental floss so he could see the layers. So cool!

Emmett also had a fun science week. His Wonder number 2 involved working on the physics topics of molecules, atoms, and protons, electrons and neutrons as well as mass and the states of matter. He also dipped his toe into the engineering world with definitions of what an engineer does and the way that engineers see the world in order to solve problems. He designed a ramp (using the principles of wedges and inclines) for his remote control cars and built them out of multiple materials. 

Version number one

Version number 1+2

We are reading "Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" out loud and both boys seem to be enjoying that. 

One of the things that he has been nervous about in the past is math. He and Micah are following the Eureka Math (Engage NY) curriculum. He has been working hard to learn the place value charts used to do math into the millions place. I am so proud of how hard he works. 

I have been starting Jonah with the Fundations curriculum used in the local school district. We started with A and B this week. He thinks it is very cool that he can write letters! Jonah's most exciting project this week is his countdown to Christmas chart. I will eventually make this into a hundreds chart for him but for now I just created some of our own. If you know this kid, you know he LOVES winter and Christmas. He has been singing Christmas carols since last November and we have had the Christmas books out since May I think. 

Fa la la la la!

Norah is enjoying joining us at the table and will play on the floor, draw and color and sharpen all of our pencils for hours. It's challenging keeping everyone happy and busy on their own things but we are slowly finding a rhythm. More next week!

Always with a guy (binkie)

A brand new journey - Week 1

 It's been a while since I have written here. Life has changed and we are busy! We have embarked on a new journey at our house. In the wake of Covid-19 ravaging the country and our community, we have opted to homeschool for the 2020-2021 school year. We realize that we are in a position of extreme luxury. I am home and not working as a physical therapist and Patrick continues to be employed full time as the senior pastor of a church in New England. Our school district gave two options, we could send the kids full time in person or we could keep them home and they could learn remotely full time. The later option would include zoom lessons and class meetings on and off all day from 8:45a to 3:15p. We knew that we would not be sending them in person as Patrick's job and the vibrancy of the church depends on him staying healthy. I knew in my heart that the zoom option would not be feasible with a toddler and a preschooler. 

So, homeschool it was.

Truth be told, I had been thinking about homeschool and and off since Emmett was in first grade. Patrick has said over and over that the pandemic has accelerated many things. This was not only the best option for our family, but it was a great reason to give it a try.

I did a boat load of research and settled on the Blossom and Root curriculum. I love the secular, gentle nature of it. I love that much of it is done outdoors. I felt like the math component was lacking for us so after talking to Emmett's third grade teacher from last year, I decided on Eureka math or EngageNY. It is what they have been used to and it would help them be able to drop back in to their respective grades next year if that is what we decide. 

Week one was a little rough. The first day (Tuesday) I was sitting at the table and I jumped up to go help Jonah in the bathroom and smacked my head on the slant of the dormer ceiling. I hit it so hard, I knocked myself off my feet. I am fairly certain that I probably had a mild concussion. Oops. That resulted in tears on my part, mostly of frustration, but also of pain and built up anxiety. Day two resulted in tears from Emmett and Micah and then myself after a miscommunication with Patrick. We were on a roll, am I right? Day three and four were better. We still didn't have much of a rhythm down but we will get there. 

Attic School

A few highlights...

Micah lost his first tooth the night before school started! He begged his dad to pull it out. He's 7 and has been waiting and waiting for that first loose tooth. The tooth fairy came with blueberries and quarters. 

The first day of school pictures were taken. One great thing about homeschool... no shoes! For those of you who know my children, you know that this is their normal state most of the year. 8 bare feet, 40 bare toes. That's a lot of toes. Ha. 

4th Grade!

1st Grade!

Preschool!

There is some ongoing discussion in the Collins household as to which year Emmett will be taller than me. It won't be long. 

Micah's science Wonder this week was all about Stardust and the Earth. He made a mobile out of all sorts of things he found and pictures of people he loves. Each of these things are made of stardust, including him! We also took an Earth life walk. I drew out the life of the planet on the sidewalk in chalk. It was the length of a football field and then I drew in events. Each inch of the 100 yards was 1.3 million years. Whait, wait?! Yep, it's true. Then we walked and talked about each of the events on the timeline. Humans arrived 1/8th of an inch from today. The kids were amazed. It helped that I labeled T-Rex. 

Micah's Stardust Mobile

Earth Life Walk

Making words

Norah and Jonah have enjoyed helping me in the kitchen. They love to chop and measure and pour. It's a mess and most of the time I don't mind a bit. I have child knives that are designed to be sharp enough to cut most food things but won't cut their fingers if they slip. A worthy investment. 

We also went for a hike. Emmett and I were looking for physics topics and Micah was tasked with thinking about the Earth. We found this cool hut that someone had built. The kids had a great time exploring.  

Jonah's counting work. 

Collecting acorns in a dumptruck makes things WAY more fun for sure. 

Have a lovely week!

Floating

I love to run but it isn't always easy.

Some days the miles fly by with little effort. Other days, it can feel like a slog. It feels like my body is sluggish and my legs are heavy. Maybe my nutrition was off, maybe I did squats and lunges the day before, or maybe I didn't get nearly the sleep I needed. In any event, every step can feel like work.

I prefer to run on the trails. I can't wait for my first mountain race (hopefully in 2019). I have aspirations to do a trail 50K (2019) and a trail 50 miler (2020). There is a speed bump in there this September which will put a halt on my longer training for 6 months but after that I hope to pick it back up. Of course, it is tricky to get that kind of mileage and training in with a family and a husband who works all day, including Sundays and many evening hours, as well as needs to get in his workouts. I do most of my running early in the morning before the boys are up and moving for the day. When I trained for my other 50K races, I was working full time as a physical therapist. In order to get my long runs in, I was up and out the door by 4:00a. This way I could get 3 hours of running in by 7a and could be home and showered, make the boys' breakfast and get them off to school. I did back to back long runs on Tuesdays and Wednesdays before work so that I could have my weekends home with the family and so that Patrick could work on Sundays (and many Saturdays).

Recently, I was running in the woods on the trail and I realized that my perspective on running had changed a bit. I put up a quick Instagram post on this.

I still love the sound of my feet but I love the idea that the silence is when I am flying. I can't help but smile when I think about this. 

Essentially, the definition of walking is to have one foot on the ground at all times. 

One dictionary says...

walking (present participle)

1. move at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once.

Running, however, has a short period during the gait cycle where there is float. This is just after the toe off on one foot and before the heel/foot strike on the other. The therapist in me could go into the biomechanics of gait for you but I'll just stop here with that. Even on the days when running is effort and that period of two feet off the ground feels slim, it still exists. This is what makes it running, rather than walking. 

With help from my mom, I did some digging into the words that make up this phenomenon.

Float derives from the word fleet, which is a verb.  

To float, to flow, hence glide, swiftly, hence as in Shakespeare’s ‘fleet the time carelessly’

Float has roots from Middle English in flatten or fleton (I've never heard this word before) - to swim or to float

Old High German - flizzan, German - fliessen, to float, to flow
Old Norwegian - flit, flijota to flow float
Sanskrit - plu - to swim or flow

It's interesting to note that float and fleet derive from similar places. I think of fleet as quick and efficient and float and smooth and efficient.  Also, as my mom pointed out, it is interesting that float comes from words that include flow - think flow state. It's likely a coincidence but it's still pretty great.

And so, I run, even on the days where it feels less like floating and more like I have lead in my shoes (and my quads). Even on those days, I would still always rather run (and float) than walk.

Love

I have been focusing on kind, compassionate love, starting with my children. It seems as though this might be an easy task but I would argue that this is more difficult than it sounds. The love I have for my boys is unconditional. I want the very best for my kids. I want them to enjoy being children, and my wish is that they grow into caring, compassionate, kind adults. I want them to grow through play, but also through slowly accumulating responsibility. I want them to learn to be self sufficient but to know when to ask for help as needed. There is a fine line to walk. I want them to live with love and joy but also to be respectful. This can often lead to the perception that we are "hard on them", expecting them to listen, to follow directions, and to make good choices while being kids.

There were evenings when I would go to bed feeling defeated. I felt like I'd spent the day battling with my kids. Days, when I had raised my voice too many times, when I felt like I was at the very end of my patience and spoken much too harshly. When I stepped back for a moment, I realized most of the things that were so frustrating to us all were because of my response to the situation. That was a shameful revelation. I am the adult and I do love them like crazy. How could I be speaking to them in a way that I wouldn't talk to anyone else? Speaking to them in a way that, if someone talked to me, I would be crushed. The guilt that brought on was devastating. This was NOT okay.

So what was causing the escalation?
1. The boys didn't understand what I needed them to do.
2. The boys didn't understand the relevance of the things I was asking of them.
3. I was losing my patience because of choices the kids were making without taking into consideration that they were making age appropriate kid decisions. Kids are not perfect nor are adults. Helping kids learn to make safe and appropriate decisions is very important but expecting them to make decisions using adult thought processes is ridiculous. My seven year old does not have the capacity to make the decisions of a 35 year old man (it could be argued that 35 year old men don't always make great decisions but I digress) and my 4 year old cannot make the decisions that his big brother can work through.

Scripture is my husband's world, not mine. I know, I know, it is accessible to everyone but I tend to get overwhelmed by it all. I often feel like because I don't know the history or the context, I won't understand the meaning. As I said, this is P's profession and gift and it's no secret that I often seek  both God and spiritual inspiration and fulfillment in other ways and places.

That being said, I began to think about some words that are frequently quoted, "Love is patient. Love is kind." That's it. Simple. Straightforward. It happens to be half of 1 Corinthians 13:4 but that is not the point. The point is

Love is patient.
I am love.
Love is kind.
I am love.

I am practicing loving kindness in words and actions and I am starting in my own home. I would say that our house was already filled with love but I can feel the shift this has made.

It seems so easy but it does take some discipline for me. When all I want to do is lose my cool, I stop for a second to think about my perception versus what is really happening. For instance, this morning I told Micah 212 times to get his brand new, fancy, blue winter jacket on for school. I tried being nonchalant, asking gently, demanding, explaining, lifting him to his feet to put it on him, and letting him put it on himself. During this exchange he turned to Jello, dropped to the floor, and had a meltdown. He deteriorated from whining, to crying, to howling. We were now late for preschool and my patience was hanging on by a very fine thread. I felt like I was one second away from shouting at him in anger. Micah doesn't respond to being yelled at (which is true of most kids). He cries and digs in his heels. I know this. We've repeated this problem a hundred times.

Pause.

My perception - Micah is being completely obstinate. Doesn't he know that he is going to freeze in his sweatshirt and shorts while he is in his nature classroom this morning? They spend an hour outside and it is 28 degrees. We are already 15 minutes late to school. Grrrrr. I hate being late. I bought this expensive jacket and he won't wear it because he's being ridiculous and ungrateful. I've asked him a a hundred times why he doesn't like it and he just won't tell me.

The reality - Micah is 4 years old. The coat is new, a little big, and doesn't feel like his old one. He has always been sensitive to clothing and is very opinionated about how things feel. He is unhappy and doesn't have the language to tell me exactly what the problem is. He can't see how putting his coat on will help keep him warm for the next 60 minutes. He doesn't understand seasons. He believes that because it is sunny out, it must be warm. He has no concept of time and so "being late" has no meaning for him. He has no concept of value and so doesn't understand that the coat was expensive and that he is lucky to have a warm coat that fits. He just knows that he feels the most comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt. He also has very little control over things and this is something that he can express his will about.

Un-pause.

In that brief moment, Micah's behavior has not changed. My perception, however, is different and therefore my reaction can be adjusted. I let go of the time constraints. It does not matter if he is late to preschool. If we take the time to address the concern today, over time, this situation will get easier and we will likely be able to reduce the time it takes to get dressed and out the door. I can't change the fact that he doesn't like how it feels but I can adjust the clothing under the coat to try and help him feel better. I can't change that he doesn't understand the season and the weather but I can shift the focus a bit. I had already taken him outside to show him how cold it was, time for plan B. I pulled up the weather app on my phone and showed him that the "temperature" was "in the 2s" (28 degrees). I told him that if the first number was in the 1s, 2s, or 3s it was long pants and warm jackets and if the first number was in the 4s, 5s, 6s, or 7s he could wear shorts and a sweatshirt.

I'm not actually sure how much of this he understood but something clicked and he agreed. Under protest, he chose his own mittens and whether he wanted a hat or his hood. I agreed to carry his backpack, which is usually his job and we were out the door.

Don't get me wrong, he was still upset, grumpy and dragging his feet on the walk but the end goal was completed. He was at preschool, in the appropriate attire for outdoor play, and it didn't take me losing my patience with him. Was I frustrated? Of course. Was he upset with the outcome? Likely, but when I picked him up from school, he was happy and dancing around. When love is practiced in this way it also demonstrates respect. Respect for the way each person perceives a situation and respect for people's individual differences.

photo courtesy of Vance Briceland

All of the little win/wins add up. I wake up with determination to be a mom and wife filled with love that is patient and kind. My goal is to be able to lay down at the end of the day with patience still intact and satisfaction that my family knows how much they are loved. That they are loved beyond measure through both my words and my actions. My hope for them is to shine this love and respect into the world in their own ways.

Photo courtesy of Jamie Collins

A momma's revelation

Last Saturday afternoon we loaded up the crew and headed to rugby practice. My oldest wanted to try rugby this year and we agreed. After his first practice, my middle guy decided that he wanted to give it a try too. He mistakenly thought that he was going to get to tackle everyone left and right. The next week we took everyone to practice and M, the 4 year old was hesitant about participating. We encouraged and prompted him and he did play a bit. This went on for a couple of weeks. At the most recent practice, M had a melt down before we got to the fields. He is opinionated, demanding, and a bit defiant. He tends to like a good disagreement and can be impossible to reason with due to his personality and his age. I sent E off to find his coach and when I looked back, my husband was carrying M who was stretched out stiff as a board, in his arms whimpering. I traded the content baby in the stroller for the unhappy preschooler (not a great trade) and carried him towards his team. Still doing ok in the parenting department up until this point, or so I thought.

I sat down in the grass near where his team was warming up. He sat on my lap with his "mad face" and watched. Here began the downward parenting spiral. It started out innocently enough. I asked him to go play with his team, I told him to go over and stand by his coach. I then proceeded to beg, plead, demand, bribe, punish, and nearly cry. He wanted nothing to do with rugby. Now, to be clear, I don't care if he plays rugby. It was expensive but that wasn't the issue. In the Collins' home, if you sign up or agree to something, you see the season through. It was principle at this point.

And then I stopped. I took a breath and then another. My tactics weren't working.


So I asked him, "M, what could I do to help you feel better right now?"

And do you know what he said?

He said, "can you stay with me?"

Cue the broken heart. "Of course buddy. Let's go. Are you ready?"

Keep in mind that these are 4 and 5 year olds. It's about 80% herding cats and 20% learning rugby. I ran up and down the sidelines. I cheered, sent M huge smiles and thumbs up after each activities, gave hugs when needed, and helped to interpret the directions given by the coach. I realized that he really doesn't like to feel like he doesn't know what is going on. I had thought that he was upset by being tagged or caught or missing passes originally. Although this is true, it was more that he didn't like to be disoriented or confused about what he was being asked to do.

He got through the practice with very few tears and even managed a couple of smiles. I had promised a lollipop and 15 minutes on the iPad in my desperation which I made good on when we returned home.

I promised him I would stay with him next week and he agreed to practice.

Often it takes a moment to look at the situation from a different angle. Instead of trying to figure out what a kiddo needs, sometimes we can ask them. Kids are smart and although the communication bit can be tricky, it's always worth a try. Sometimes kids know exactly what they need. We just have to slow down long enough to listen to them.